Something Old, Something New

Some of you may recall a blog I wrote a while back concerning an estranged friend. It was clear in my writing that I was still angry, after years of hurt, confusion, and questions gone unanswered. At that time, I was convinced that I would not give the time of day to this person, not again in this lifetime.

However, about a month ago I received a note from her. A note of apology. A number of conversations later we are on our way back towards friendship. Something I never thought possible. I am still bewildered by how far a heartfelt, truthful apology can go. If someone had told me prior to this that I would forgive her someday, I would have laughed in their face.

Well, I am not laughing... I am smiling. I have decided that forgiveness is better than carrying the burden of anger any longer. Something big has been lifted from me, and for that I am grateful. And to top it off, I may have gained a friend... an old friend in a new way.

Super Slow Sarah

Over the weekend I discovered that a video game, Super Mario Brothers 3, can be easily related to life. As you start out - worlds one and two - it doesn't take long to scurry through, missing the turtles and canon balls. Pretty simple, effortless advances. As you move forward, the levels become a bit more challenging, but mostly with exciting twists. Apprehension is at a minimum. It is in these stages that Mario is given the opportunity to try out limited edition characters, experience the different attributes, learn what works best and when. Hmmm... sounds a bit like the pre-teen to college ages, for some. Continuing on, everything gets a bit more complicated. It isn't so easy to cruise on through and escape all of the flames, pitfalls and dragons without some trepidation.

My frustration grew when I attempted to barge my way through - as I so easily had in earlier worlds. It quickly became time to slow things down a bit; consider everything transpiring and figure out the best way through the trials and obstacles. And that's the thing, there is absolutely a way through. The game is beatable. You just need to take it all step by step, trying to contain the anticipation, anxiety and excitement involved.

My weekend gave me that time (and time to play an ancient video game). The time to slow things down a bit, relax, take a look at the bigger picture and really see what's going on. It was quite refreshing. And all of the cool, crisp, fresh air out on the lake didn't hurt either.





Well, for the most part I actually felt little cold air and was happily cozied up in this ice shanty of FIL's. Although we didn't catch our limit of fish (or any) we did get at least one other mission accomplished: renewal.

Trailing Tantrums

It wasn't long ago that I would look at the mom's in stores, restaurants, anywhere in public who had the temper tantrum trailing along and think 'why even bring them out', right? Obviously it's probably the parenting that did, or didn't, happen that's making this child act up in this way... duh.

I had my first tantrum fun earlier this week. BigCat ran in to get a hair cut and the Bird and I were waiting in the car (keeping him out of trouble in a salon would be impossible). Since the Bird was growing restless, I decided to take him into Panera to grab some lunch. So many comments about how cute and well-behaved he is. Awww, thanks. But, then it happened. As I was trying to bundle him up for the great outdoors, he starts falling all over the place, crying, running, throwing his sippy cup, etc. Ahhhh!!! I finally gather him only to realize that my childhood next door neighbor (she was older than me, quite intimidating, needless to say we were no where near friendship) was watching the whole debacle as her daughter sat well-behaved.

Apparently, this is something that just happens. I'm hoping it's something that is just grown out of as well. I will have only sympathy for those poor mom's from here on out, because sometimes the tantrums just have to tag along.

Baked Goods

Last night, I wrote a long blog about why my ERCP procedure has been moved to February 17th, a month later than originally planned. In short, it's because of work, but my original blog went into great detail. As I was reviewing it, the Bird came up, smacked my laptop, and bam! it was gone. My stomach dropped - I was left with nothing after a good amount of time and thought went into it. I asked myself... is this a sign I should not post it? I was indeed venting and didn't have a whole lot of good to say about the workplace. Eh, I thought, I'll still write it.

After detailing the happenings of my Friday in the office again, I took a brain break in order to read it later with a fresh(er) mind. At 7 o'clock, I decided to bake some banana chocolate chip muffins I've been craving for months. I
never start projects so late in the evening (yes, I consider this late... it's my time to unwind, not get started), but last night I made an exception considering how fired up my mind was.

I cannot remember the last time I baked something other than pre-made cookies. Last night I learned that baking is quite good for my mind, and soul. After writing a therapeutic blog - twice - and baking some muffins, I knew I didn't need to air all of the dirt behind the date change.

I I Cap'n

I recently had an instance in which a somewhat uncomfortable, irritating situation arose. My first reaction was great concern for how the other's involved felt about the situation at hand. Whenever I do this, there is a great amount of assumption involved (and we all know what 'assume' stands for...). Anyway, after some thought about the issue, I decided to permit, or more so force, myself to do something I rarely do. I allowed myself to think about my feelings in the matter. Let it be known, this was a very minor issue. One of those little life things that you stress about for no good reason. Anyway, my conclusion was that I was actually a bit hurt myself. This self realization, acknowledgement of this sentiment, was a freeing moment.

The voice in my head

{This a.m. I'm heading out for a walk/run.}

It's 8:30, why is this guy walking down our street right now?? I think he's trudging through the walk of shame (after a good night of drinking, still in your bar clothes, etc.) He wouldn't usually cross my mind as a threat, but this is weird... moving on.

I'm going to run for a while, get a head start in case that guy decides to come after me (he was however walking the opposite direction). Oh yeah, and that is why I came out here in the first place.

It's an absolutely b.e.a.utiful morning for a run. Never thought I'd say that in this lifetime.

Run, walk, run, walk... running more than walking. Impressive. Ok, I'm going to make it to that mailbox running. Now that one. Ok, to that road. Wow, I'm actually running quite a bit! Ok, I'll run to the bottom of that hill, it looks like killer to get up. Huh... seems I have more energy than anticipated, I'll run up it until I no longer can. Oh my, I'm already at the middle. Now I have to make.it.to.the.top. I'm here, I actually made it to the top of this hill! I can't believe it. I'm almost believing you can do anything you put your mind to at this point, at least that's the way I'm thinking as the adrenaline is pumping through my body. Whew.

I still need to clock this path out, but I'm certain I ran well over a mile. I'm impressing myself by doing something I never thought I would, and making it up those big hills.

Wedding Ring Finger

This is something sent to me by email. I thought it was kind of neat, whether true or not.

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger? This is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese .... Thumb represents your Parents Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings Middle finger represents your own Self Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner and the Last (Little) finger represents your children Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers inward and hold them together - knuckle to knuckle Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip (As shown in the figure below):
Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents) They will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later. Now join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings) They will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives. Now rejoin the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children) They will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day. Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse). You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT --- because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!

Wonder Woman

I often wonder how the many women I know are able to be it all: a loving wife, mother, homemaker, employee, etc. and still find the time to be bloggers?!? I am looking forward to sharing stories and enjoying feedback as I begin these new ventures, in blogland and womanhood.

The babe is already six and a half months… where does the time go?!?! Each day that passes is a reminder of one of my favorite sayings, ‘Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end, the faster it goes’. As the days quickly become weeks and the weeks months, I am doing my very best to enjoy every single, fortunate, day of my life.

I know I’ll be taking on many challenges with so much to learn in my new worlds. I’m grateful that everyday I have such wonderful people to share it with, learn from and lean on. This picture is the one that accompanies me all day at work asking, 'Mama, when can you come play?'.