Chaos Chronicle

Since our wee baby girl arrived on August 3rd, life has been nothing short of incredibly hectic. I need to document it here, in no frilly fashion, before I forget it along with the many other things (like where I put her blanket) that vanish before I realize. There is not a single doubt in my mind that this post will be long, but it needs to exist for our personal remembrance more than anything else.

August 3: a supposed 6 weeks early (I believe we were actually further along than my due date suggested), our 5 lb 11 oz, 19", baby bundle arrives. Being she is so early, she is an automatic admit to the Level II nursery. We are already familiar and comfortable (as much as one can be in this situation) with this scenario being Bubba found himself here in his first days of life as well. Other than a bit of a respiratory diagnosis - albeit one without need of any help - she looks pretty good. However, there are many milestones she'll need to pass before she is released. There is no telling how long she will be in, how long we'll be without our complete family at home, but we know she is in great hands.

August 5: I am released from the hospital but given a room for boarding being the wee one is still a patient. However, I decide later that night not to take advantage of this room, for a variety of reasons, so I go home after spending time with our babe and taking part in a couple of feedings.

August 6 - 8: Each day revolves around hospital visits. I would go to spend 3 feedings with her, each spanning 3 hours apart. We are able to cuddle and bond amongst the beeping monitors and nurses. To pass the time in-between, which only ends up being about 2 hours, I pump, eat, talk, shop, etc. Always running.

August 9: After a few days of a pain shooting up my back, leading to tightening of my chest and back, in turn lowering my pulse to the low 40's and raising my blood pressure, I find myself in the emergency room (first time ever!). An EKG and CT scan were done immediately to rule out the upfront life threatening issues. Throughout the next 6 hours more tests are completed and it is decided that I am to be admitted to the cardiac unit. Scary. More tests. More pokes. More tears. I tell everyone I talk to that my baby is going home the following day and I plan to be doing the same... so figure this out! That night, I developed the worst headache of my lifetime. Keep in mind I have regular migraines so I'm already familiar with horrible headaches and this is much worse. All of my heart tests come back looking good, which only confirms my own suspicions that this is related to the epidural. The epidural in which the doc took two swipes before getting it right, then managed to numb one of my legs beyond any one's belief, including nurses who see this done all of the time. Every doc I suggested this to bocked at my idea, but in the end the anesthesiology department was involved. That was as much of an admittance ever received.

August 10: I am discharged from the Cardiology unit mid-afternoon, with blood pressure meds and pain killers. By 3 we are on our way to pick up Bubba with baby girl in tow. Good day.

August 11: MIL comes over to help organize baby girl's room... it is a complete catastrophe due to the early arrival and chaos of the previous days. This takes most of the day. I'm exhausted. I've yet to relax much less take a nap like I think new mamas should.

August 12: First follow-up appointment for baby girl. All looks good. She's gaining weight (which is almost all that is checked). Somehow this quick follow-up appointment ends up chewing up a good portion of my day.

August 13: Friday... need I say more? BigCat ends up home due to rain so it's another day of getting stuff done on top of preemie caring. Note: preemie caring is indeed different than regular newborn caring. More rules, more feedings (whether she is wanting them or not), etc. The OB home nurse also visits and does the many things I feel our life has encompassed as of lately (blood pressure checks, questionnaires, temperatures, etc).

August 14 - 15: We are prepping for Bubba's 3rd birthday party. The families are coming out Monday night to celebrate. Shopping, cleaning, wrapping, etc. He isn't sleeping well so BigCat spends much of his nights with Bubba.

August 16: Carpet installation in the downstairs bedroom is completed 5 minutes after I need it to be... Baby girl hasn't pooped since Friday morning, so they suggest she comes in and create an opening for her appointment before the doc technically starts her day. This whole debacle ends up taking 3 hours, leaving me with little time to finish prep for Bubba's party. In the mean time we receive a call from Bubba's daycare provider that he is complaining of his throat hurting. Nothing else seems to be going on (and we're not sure if it's for attention, a common act since baby girl arrived) so she keeps him. I shower only after the first guests arrive.

August 17: Bubba is continuing at daycare for these first weeks... it's best for everyone involved. In an attempt to drop him off, he bawls like never before saying only "I want to go home". So, he gets just that. He remains in relatively good spirits but nonetheless adds quite the dimension to being home with baby. That night, a couple of hours after he goes to bed, as we're heading there ourselves, I check on him and find blood spots all over his pillow, from his mouth. We take peeks inside the sleeping, and now crabby, boy's mouth and don't see much besides a blood clot. Let the insane worrying begin. BigCat spends another night sleeping with Bubba and I spend the night hardly sleeping.

August 18: Bubba has his 3 year check-up (thank goodness after the previous night!). All looks well... except that he has Hand, Food and Mouth Disease! What??? Get home from the doc and have a message from my daycare provider that another case was reported just a of couple hours ago. Nothing we can do about it and he seems to be doing relatively well in comparison. I am in complete amazement at how much a doctor's appointment can impact a day... almost the entire day! Getting 2 children ready and out the door, picking up prescriptions, etc. and it's suddenly mid-afternoon. Yikes. I don't know how mamas with more kiddos do it!!

August 19: This is the day I've been waiting for. One in which I can just snuggle with my baby and do nothing else... well, almost nothing. I don't mind those other little things throughout the day, as long as I get some bonding time in with my baby girl. This is long overdue and honestly, I feel a bit robbed by this fact. For her first week of life, she was in the hospital where I had very little time with her. And the second week was filled with complete chaos. I have no clue what it's like to have a baby and get to go home and bond, cuddle, rest, enjoy. So, forgive me, but I am taking some days to do this now. I need to do it before I share her with more people. I need to do it for her sake (keeping her environment somewhat womb-like a little longer). I need to do it before my body repays me for the lack of rest. I need to do it just because I do.

Time is a Tickin'

I didn't expect to find myself here this evening. I was checking in on a couple fellow bloggers (although I can hardly consider myself one any longer) and somewhere along the line found myself inspired.

Baby deuce is almost here! Technically I am 34 weeks and 1 day today, however, I had an ultrasound early last week that puts me at 36 weeks and 2 days. At this point, they do not change the due date and there's still really no saying when she'll be here, but my gut feeling (along with some outright signs) is telling me it's going to be earlier than the predicted 9/11. I have been having contractions since last Friday, and fairly regular ones at that. Thankfully, at this point anyway, they are not labor inducing but just uncomfortable and annoying. I'm hoping it's a sign that she's getting ready, but I'm not hoping for an appearance any earlier than she's ready.

We just continue to take advantage of the little bit of time we do have. Over the months I have felt incredibly stressed in efforts of home and baby prep. As I write, BigCat is downstairs painting the soon-to-be spare bedroom. It has been a relatively slow-going project, at least in my impatient-she-could-be-here-anytime frame of mind, but it looks great. Next up is trim, carpet (ordered but a week or so out yet) and doors. Then we'll finally be able to move all the spare bedroom stuff back in, making way for a nice lil' play area downstairs.

So, life is good... a few pics to prove it (well, from Bubba's point of view anyway).

Proud Momma

Bubba went to his back-up daycare today, a place he hasn't been in probably close to a year. At the ripe age of two and a half, it's pretty safe to say this is basically a new experience for the tyke. When I dropped him off this morning, he was such a big boy as he watched me leave. There was a slight bit of hesitation, maybe even sadness, but no fits, no crying, just "bye momma"... which impressed the couple women there. When I went to pick him up, she stated that he was so easy, was down for whatever, played well, etc. And to top it off, she thought he was super funny. Apparently his looks weren't the only thing he got from daddy dearest. I can only hope tomorrow goes as well, or close to it, as sometimes the whole warm-up period is a bit deceiving. But, for today, I was one proud momma.

Just Plain Logic

A few weeks ago I joined Bubba at the table, and after a long day of working around the house, I said as I sat, "whew, I am pooped!" The logical response... "go change your diaper, Momma."

Turning In

I'm not sure why this has been so difficult, to get back into the swing of the blog, but it has. Maybe it's the two-year-old Bubba constantly on the go, or the complete busy-factor of summer, or very possibly the lack of brain power to do it after the usual day. Whatever the case, I know I put too much pressure on myself - to post pictures, share detailed excitement or edit and then edit again. Well, this one is off the cuff.

Tonight we had a nice night at home to start off our quietest weekend in months yielding few obligations or schedules to follow. We enjoyed a fabulous grilled meal - chicken and veggies - one of my summer favorites as the season technically comes to a close. Like most other nights, we dined, played, turned around and it was time to start the bedtime routine. Time races. But unlike most other nights, Bubba had the option to bypass the books and watch Cars in mom's bed before hitting the hay. With mom. And the pup. He couldn't have been happier... well, until dad joined, too. Bubba went to bed smiling. Days that end like this... are good. and happy. and sweet. special. memorable. scarce. not to be taken for granted. loving.

Everything is not always perfect at one precise moment, but to have it so good in one place when turning in for the night... well, that's a really good start.

I'm Baaaack

Intimidation and anticipation... two words to describe what I have been thinking in regards to this long overdue post. It's intimidating because it has been a busy two months filled with changes; where does one begin? At the same time, I've been anticipating this first post because I need this outlet... it helps the functionality of my life. After days of dry runs in my head, I decided to begin in the now. Some of the life modifications of the past couple of months, that have been ignored by blogdom, will surely surface along the way. But for now, I'll begin as though it never ended.

The weather this Labor Day weekend was one for the books; top of the scale in my opinion. Unfortunately I spent too much of it indoors. On the upside, I am feeling a bit more caught up with life.

Bubba (who is now 2!!) was picked up by Grandma and Papa (my rents) on Thursday and whisked to the lake. He loves every moment spent up there. How could you not?!? He's spoiled rotten with love and has all sorts of fun. I joined the fam on Friday night, took advantage of their willingness to Bubba-tend and got caught up on some long lost sleep, enjoyed some good grub and a couple perfect rounds of the lake tooner-style. Where was BigCat you ask? He was up north doing what he loves to do... fish. It was the relatively relaxing weekend we needed.

Although I would like to pretend time has stood still while I was away, there is no doubt Bubba has changed tremendously in these last couple of months - and that is not to be ignored. The below pictures are sure to give you an idea of just how much...

Vacay and Away

Vacay has come and gone, faster than any year prior. The weather didn't necessarily cooperate, leaving much beach time to be desired. Not going to lie, I felt a little robbed on my way home, going against the Fourth of July vacationers who were just beginning their holiday weekend filled with glorious weather.

Not to be mistaken, the week was still filled with goodness, just not a lot of the sun-lovin' kind. Most importantly, it was full of QT with family, and friends as good as family. Bubba went tubing for the first time...start 'em young... that's how we roll (I was on skis with Papa Jimbo at 3)! Not that you can tell from the pics, but Bubba enjoyed the experience; he was very serious about it, soaking it all in *wink*, and wanting more. Hopefully next year will give us more days to test the water.

Lots of fun was to be had before vacay, too. A few pics to get all caught up!

A Year

First it was a few days, then a week, quickly two, and now more than I am able to recount, since my last post. I miss my blogs. My own. My frimily's*. Often, I long for the days of blogging; being able to share and express as I desire. I miss other things, too, like relaxation and cleaning... okay, I miss it being my kind of clean. However, my third class is already underway, and it continues to go well. And if I don't have time to clean now, nap now, play now, write now, I will in a year. One quick year, straight-through, will leave me at the doorstep of vacation 2010. What better a reward?

For now, I'm approaching this year's vacay and couldn't be more excited. It's going to be a completely different experience than last year. From crawling and mushy foods to running, climbing, inspecting, swimming, tiring me out... He has become such a little boy, and so much fun. What a difference a year makes.

quiet observation in the rain

playin' with the pup

extreme miniature motorcycle riding

new friends

as recent as it gets


The LL posts may continue to be sparse, but eventually I'll be back in full force.

*FRIends + faMILY

The Camera's Take

Wah?!? Two posts in one day?? I know, but this time, I let the photos speak.

Long Lowdown

Where has the time gone? The good news is that the faster it goes now, the sooner vacation gets here. As you can see (since it's in blaring white!) I have added a countdown to my most coveted time of year. Lake Edward vacation. It's what gets me through so much of the rest of the year, and thankfully, as life gets busier and more stressful it seems the R&R of that week comes around again that much faster.

Oh, where to begin... With the little guy. He's cutting his eye teeth, but has been a complete champ. He's starting to talk quite a bit more, although still on his terms. He LOVES being outside and makes a loud fuss every.single.time.we.go.in. Whether we're leaving daycare or coming in from a bike ride, he's mad. Real mad. I like to refer to Bubba as 'strong-willed'.

BigCat is getting all geared-up for Mother's Day, uh, I mean, opening fishing this weekend. It looks like the weather will be nice, and better yet, dry. I consider the latter to be quite important although some may say that's when the fish bite.

School continues to go very well (not gonna brag, but I got an 'A' in my first class). Of course there are days when I'm stressed, but overall I am enjoying the challenge and the learning. So, I figure I must make some time to kickback and relax!Like a Twins game filled with Dome dogs and jumbo pretzels (last Saturday), a wedding and the play Legally Blonde (this coming weekend). Thankfully, both my hubby and family help to make these outings possible. Thank you!! :-)

In our down-time (ha ha), we're just watching our sod turn green, looking forward to having a real yard for the first time in 4 years! It's a very exciting time.

Time for bed

I unexpectedly, and very excitably, ended up as a spectator at Britney's Circus show! She is all the entertainer I hoped for, even if she does lip sync. It was worth every cent and every dirty look (from those that thought I was nuts!!). How suite it was...

I had to quickly load my pictures onto my computer tonight before my camera shuts down, possibly for good. I'm afraid Bubba may have thrown the extra-special charger away. I still need to get some pics off of BigCat's camera from Easter, but for tonight, these will have to do.


Bubba was just up (1.5 hours after he hit the hay), he's either getting his eye teeth in - ouch! - or has another cold. Either way, hopefully it's short-lived.

Thus far, the quest for my MBA is going well. Homework has definitely taken a stand in my life... not only is the class accelerated, but without the typical education setting you have to take the time to really teach yourself. However, I am really satisfied with the setting, am learning a lot and am already counting down the days of my first class. :-)

It's now time for bed, but I knew I'd sleep better if I had my long-overdue blogland chat.

Bubba Firsts

About a week and a half ago, around 9:30 pm, I was just starting homework when we heard Bubba cry. Normally I wouldn't even blink an eye at a squawk during the night, but immediately I knew something was wrong. To make a long story short - we experienced Bubba's first, and hopefully only, 'night terror'. We have found this explanation to be similar to what happened in those 8 or so minutes (plus a few panicked phone calls to Bubba's grandparents and doctor). Neither BigCat nor I had experienced a scare like this before. We're thankful it wasn't something more serious.

And in the life of a 19-month-old boy, there are many 'firsts' happening all of the time:
He left our friends' with this forehead gouge after a brief encounter with their fireplace bricks. It was my first freak-out due to a Bubba injury (we've been fortunate... or maybe this is just the beginning??!). The two ladies I was with are both experienced with boys of their own; their counsel was priceless. I know it doesn't look too bad here, but I think he looks pretty bad!


And his first official hair cut (I cut his duck tail months ago). Thanks Grandma R. And thanks to this yummy sucker! Overall it went well. He's more little boy and less baby all of the time.


Lastly, an update on Bubba's parents. BigCat is back to about 85% after the double-ear-infection. I had a relatively pointless appointment with my specialist this week. We concluded I am half-way better and that we'll be "half is glass full" kind of people. He and I will visit again in a couple of months, unless there are changes in my status between now and then.

Although school is keeping me up way too late on weeknights, soaking up every spare minute I have and causing a decent amount of stress, I am enjoying it. I am happy with the forum and am satisfied with every experience thus far. In fact, after week one I have a solid 'A' and great feedback from my instructor. It feels good! :-)

Star Points

Sometimes, a list is the easiest way to catch-up.

* Bubba is on the mend, but still not 100%. Now two other lil' boys at daycare are sick with the same ultra-contagious infection.
* Oh, did I mention... BigCat and I also got the virus that started it all??
* The abdominal pain is.still.here. Such high hopes I had before the procedure, and again post-stent-removal for a pain-free future. Hopefully the next meeting with my doctor (in two weeks) will turn another light on at the end of this dark tunnel.
* After careful consideration and a chat with BigCat, I have opted to complete the 3-Day in an upcoming year instead of this one. Largely because of: the above listed pain uncertainty and the initiation of a Graduate college career. It's a bit much on top of wifing, momming, working, etc. I do pledge to experience this amazing journey in my lifetime.
* My books have been delivered, paperwork completed and excitement put in check - school starts on Tuesday!!

Poor Baby Bubba

Sometimes, life takes a course of its own regardless of the plans that have been made. This weekend is a prime example of this very thing, albeit in small form. All week, Bubba had been succumbing to a nasty cold. Finally on Friday we went for a visit with the doctor. Some poking, prodding, nebulizing and xraying later Bubba was diagnosed with Bronchilitis, which is an infection of the lungs' airways (the radiologist may still diagnosis it as pneumonia). We were sent home with a nebulizer of our own, which is a thrice-daily experience, and some antibiotics to ward the infections of his lungs and left ear. This has been a weekend full of firsts for all of us with Bubba the sickest he's ever been. And needless to say, most of the plans we did have were put aside for more important things - being there when Bubba really wanted, and needed, some rest and TLC from us (especially mom :-) ). However, along with the love we're feeling from Bubba we're both feeling the cold as well.


All comfy and cute, what a sad lil' tot he was. Thankfully, his fever broke during his nap today... we're on the road to recovery.

As John Lennon stated in "Beautiful Boy" and my mom has reiterated uncountable times, "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". After a busy week with little - to quite little - time together as a family, we are making up for that... and it just so happens to be what we all need.

Sarammary

Pronunciation: \ˈsā-rə-mə-rē\
1: covering the main points of Sarah's life expeditiously
2: coincidentally misinterpreted as Sarah Marie

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I've been at a loss for blogs lately, but not due to a mundane life on the couch. In the midst of my chaotic week, I attempted to write a couple of times, only to be left with scattered, disconnected sentences and an overwhelmed feeling from facing the many stories I wanted to share. Now, it's been long enough that I could never go into great detail about everything without boring any reader to sleep. Instead, I present a small slide show summary to recap. It's really the only reasonable way to get caught up, and it's important that I do so with the upcoming happenings.



Not pictured: A working BigCat (as of a week ago), Aegis Girls outing (always goes too fast), The Big T-Oh T-Party (our friend T, turned 30... get it? {birds chirping}), Superbowl sleep (I just didn't care), success with stress at work (being a little anxious prior seems to help with the task at hand).

Birthdays, Bucks & Bubba

We are in the midst of birthday season for our families... SIL, Jimbo, FIL, yours truly and MIL - in that order. Most recently was my dad's when we went to one of my fave restaurants. It was as entertaining and scrumptious as ever; I must note their delicious shrimp sauce and gratuitous group photo.

Last night we discovered - well, BigCat discovered - the 'big buck' out back grazing our feeder, with a smaller one (6 pointer) standing guard. In an attempt to obtain evidence we snapped a few photos of the larger one tonight. If you look real hard, you can see the antlers... 10 pointer!!

Bubba is 17 months on Friday... where does the time go? After a cute lil' sneeze tonight I uttered "God bless you baby", then thought 'where did my baby go??'. Now he's a running toddler investigating everything.all.of.the.time. Moments like this one are short-lived... Grammy, MIL, was quick enough to get this precious shot.

And here, after only a few minutes - along with my notice of the sudden quiet - I turned to find Bubba sitting in the coveted couch spot with table access, remotes, recliner. The funniest part is that he never watches tv, just observes us sitting in that spot. He flipped on Seinfeld and kicked back for a few minutes. What more could a guy want?

A-new

Three days in, and I'm feeling optimistic about 2009. We started the new year out at our friend's, Trason's, playing games, laughing, eating and drinking into the new year. The 1st day of '09 was a relaxing one at home when I was surprised by an estranged friend contacting me... after about 8 years, talk about unexpected! The 2nd day was an ultra-productive day in the cube with it being so quiet in the office. After all my hard work I decided to unwind by inviting a girlfriend over to chat while we wet our palate with a bottle of wine. This morning, we loaded up the Bird and headed to her place, where he and Hunter (his senior 2 week and 2 day BFF) played for hours.

I can't imagine BigCat has much for complaints these first few days either. He's mostly been fishing, and even catching a few here and there. A little break from being Mr. Mom which is very different than his usual day job.

This past year has flown right on by. So many big changes in our lives - some welcomed, some not - with the Bird being the most exceptional. With all of his growth as we enter into the new year he earned himself a new blog name (he's hardly a lil' bird anymore):

Meet Bubba